Having a new baby in the family can bring extra special meaning to the holidays, but it can also create extra tension as everyone jostles for your little one's attention. With careful planning, lots of communication and a willingness to put your new family first, your holiday can be just the way you want it. Here’s some sound advice:
Talk to your spouse. Before invitations arrive and promises are made, decide what's important to each of you and how you envision the holidays overall. Agree on big things such as where your families fit in, traditions you want to start and whether you want to travel.
Set priorities. It may be hard to think about upsetting old family traditions or expectations, but your new family comes first. Some family therapy experts say the priorities in making decisions should be 1) the couple, 2) the children and 3) the extended family.
Announce your plans early. As soon as you can, let everyone know what you have in mind. Make it clear that even though you want the holidays to work for everyone, you have new things to consider.
Reexamine traditions. If you or your extended family are uneasy about changing your holiday routine, try to determine if it's really that important or a habit you've fallen into. Ask yourselves why you want to continue it, what makes it special and how you could alter it to fit your new situation.
Be willing to compromise without giving in. You don't have to be insensitive to others' feelings to give your new family top priority. For example, instead of missing your mother's famous Christmas brunch, ask her to shift the festivities to the afternoon so you can spend the morning with your baby.
Leave time for you. The holidays can be stressful, especially with a new baby in the house. Try to maintain your regular routine and set aside time to have your little one all to yourselves.
Let go of the guilt. Try as you might, there may be times when you just can't make everyone happy. Do what's best for your family, explain your decisions as sensitively as you can and enjoy this special time. It only comes once!